Define Yourself One Moment at a Time

Your actions define who you are.

I'm a huge proponent of personal growth. You should be taking the time to dissect your life and behaviors and understand yourself.

I believe you should be able to state your three to five core values and the principles you live by that demonstrate those values. There is a lot to be said for doing all this work and how it helps you define the person you want to be.

But it's all just acidemic until you take action.

You are presented with hundreds of choices on any given day, and you have the opportunity to take action and be the person you want to be. It is in those moments that you define who you are.

Every day you have the choice of what time you get up and what you do with that time.

Every day you have the choice of food you'll eat.

Every day you have the choice to work out or not.

Every day you have the choice to say a kind word to that overwhelmed barista.

Every day you have the choice to stand up for something that needs to change.

I was pretty stressed last month, and as I come out of that time and have some space around me, I'm noticing how impatient I have been with my kids. I want to be the best dad I can be, so I need to put my desires to the side and give them my full attention. This also means that as obnoxious as I may find them sometimes, I need to let them be kids.

That sounds good, and intentions matter, but the reality is that if I don't follow up with action, it's meaningless. So, I've started working this into my daily morning ritual.

I start by telling myself that no matter what happens, I want my default response to my kids to be unconditional love. Then I think about the previous day. What were some times when I did that well? What were some times that I failed?

Becoming more mindful of these situations in my morning ritual makes me better at seeing them in real time later in the day. Then I'm able to squash my default reaction and respond more lovingly.

This is a process, and I make mistakes, but I know I have to keep at it because wanting to be a great dad is not the same as being a great dad. Each time I make a loving response, I am the dad I set out to be. I am defined by how I respond at that moment, and I seek a lifetime of moments where I make a loving choice.

Who do you want to be? What opportunities to define yourself by action are you avoiding?